For the past few months, I have been having an ongoing sponsored conversation about hypoactive sexual desire disorder or HSDD. I agreed to participate in this campaign because I think women’s health is so important and that if using my platform even helps one woman it is worth it.
Despite my strong feelings in this area and continued posts, the direct response has been quieter that I expected. Women haven’t been reaching out like I thought. My invitations to comment and email have gone largely unanswered. But, thanks to technology, I have seen thousands of readers clicking through to learn more.
Their silent clicks have been bits of affirmation and hope as I have endeavored on this journey of sharing research and facts that I have discovered.
You see, 1 in 10 women are impacted by HSDD or low sexual desire. Yet, few are talking about it. I have never had a friend bring it up to me. I have never had a doctor bring it up to me.
That 1 in 10 number has really struck me. I have thought about how many women I engage with in a day. It is likely that several are impacted or will be at some point in their life. In one Instagram story I did, 10% click through. 1 in 10.
The #RighttoDesire website has some fantastic resources if you think you might have HSDD. From quizzes to videos to the option to reach out to a doctor via telehealth, you can get the help you need. This is not something you have to live with or ignore.
On Facebook Live earlier this month I answered some common questions I’ve heard from readers or uncovered myself as I have explored this topic. I encourage you to watch my chat – it’s only a few minutes long. Perhaps it will give you the encouragement you need, or empower you to encourage a friend or loved one.
I will jump in with my own experience. After a hysterectomy and having difficulty “appreciating” the sexual side of our relationship, I went to speak with my OB/Gyn/surgeon. His response? Wait for it……….Lose weight!! Granted I was 20# over where I wanted to be BUT, that is all he had to say. Needless to say, I never went back to him and never asked the question of anyone else.
It is so frustrating and unacceptable that doctors can lack empathy and compassion. I am glad you did not go back. Did you find someone to meet your needs?
I am horrified by your doctor’s response. I hope you found someone to meet your needs. If you are still struggling, you might look into the telehealth options on righttodesire.com
Thank you Ellen and Jessica for your thoughts and empathy. No I never spoke to another dr about it, but read all I could get my hands on. I came to 2 conclusions.
1. Physical- for women a large part of pleasure of orgasm is the contractions of the uterus. When that is gone, that sensation goes with it. Over time the nerves in and around the area pick up the pace, but it is never those same full contractions.
2. Emotional- Some women feel “less than” after hysterectomies, some men also contribute to that. Some women need MORE coaxing (foreplay/intimacy/positive feedback), some men lack that enthusiasm. There are many nuances along these same lines.
I love that you empowered yourself by doing reading and research. Way to go.
One reason for a lack of response may be that people are uncertain about what to say. Or they may feel concern for a lack of privacy regarding such a sensitive topic. I know for myself I when I read earlier posts I did not feel that I could quickly respond in a thoughtful way and then time flew past.
I agree that it is a very sensitive topic. It’s required courage for me to write about it each month. I think that’s what I was saying in the post… based on clicks, I am so encouraged to see that women are being helped and learning more. xoxo
Malisa Price says
Thanks for talking about this!