The Stares and Smiles of Pregnancy

by jessicaturner on April 18, 2011

Yesterday I flew for my third time in a month – twice for work and once for pleasure.

  • Trip #1: Orange County, CA
  • Trip #2: Milwaukee, WI
  • Trip #3: San Francisco, CA

Thankfully, this is my last flight of this pregnancy.

I joke with people that I am terrible at pregnancy and will never do it again.

Well, I say it in a joking manner. I am serious about not being pregnant again.

My body is not cut out for it. Every step of the process is hard and painful for me.

Me at 28 weeks

As I enter week thirty, my hands and feet are swelling, my back hurts and I am waddling something fierce.Because of my petite frame and propensity to gain a lot of weight in pregnancy, I look big. People ask every day when the baby is coming and when I say June, I get mostly shock.

People seem to think she should be here tomorrow.

I receive the most stares and “bless her heart” smiles in airports and on airplanes. Because I have been flying to California and it is such a long flight, I have to get up and walk to increase my circulation.

And with every aisle I get the stares and smiles… and the comments when I am coming or am past (as if my ears don’t work if I am not next to the person):

  • Wow, she is big.
  • Should she be flying?
  • Oh, isn’t she sweet?
  • I wonder if she is having twins?
  • Oh look, a pregnant woman.
  • Look, she’s having a baby.

I can’t help but want to grab the flight attendant’s intercom and announce, yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am pregnant, no it is just one baby, I am due at the end of June, but yes, I am short and big and so sorry, I need to walk around a bit during this long flight. Please quit staring and commenting amongst yourselves.

Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones, but goodness! Why are people so rude? It isn’t like pregnancy is an anomaly. :)

I sure will be glad when I am carrying Adeline outside my body! :)



{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Kendra April 18, 2011 at 6:00 am

Ha! I completely understand! When I was pregnant with my 2nd, I got a lot of “Did your doctor get the date wrong?” and “I bet he’s going to be a big baby” and more of the same because I was so big. I’m 5’4 — a baby belly is going to look big on me!! It’s like all the sensors come off when a pregnant woman is involved — and the time couldn’t be worse (hormones!!). I know you know this, but it’s totally worth it in the end. :)

Reply

Jessica Holmes April 18, 2011 at 6:12 am

That is awful! Pregnancy is such a miraculous thing, especially now when many people are trying everything to get pregnant. You are healthy and doing what you need to do to keep Adeline safe and healthy. She will be here sooner than you know it! Good luck!

Reply

Karen R April 18, 2011 at 6:25 am

Sometimes although it might sound offensive, the commenter may be just trying to offer an empathetic voice. So many of us have been through it and we know how difficult it can be, especially towards the end. When I see a pregnant woman I often can’t help but comment because I believe it is such a miracle and a blessing and I am continually amazed by what God can do.
Then there are those who are just without manners and say ill thought out things!
Sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod…
God Bless you and have a safe and healthy journey!

Reply

jessicaturner April 18, 2011 at 6:38 am

I get that sometimes people might be well-intentioned- but talking about me when I walk past is hardly empathetic.

Reply

becca April 18, 2011 at 6:55 am

Oh girl, yes! When I was pregnant with both my boys, I got all those comments, and every single time my FIL saw me, he’d say, “Wow! You are SO BIG!” which made me feel really really bad, because I lost 20 lbs with our first and 30 with our second, because I had hyper emesis graviderim the entire pregnancies, threw up straight through pushing but once they were born, no more vomit! I can’t wait to see your precious new baby!

Reply

Rachel Miller April 18, 2011 at 7:02 am

Well I, for one, think you look adorable! Hope June comes quickly for you! ((HUGS)) :-)

Reply

Rebecca April 18, 2011 at 8:38 am

Although I have never been pregnant and would not understand I totally hear ya! Can I just say for the record you certainly do not look like your carrying two babies.

Can I just ask though, does the US not have a flying restriction for pregnancy? Here in the UK you are not allowed to fly past 26 weeks. Airlines will stretch it to 28 weeks with a doctors letter. But after that airlines won’t let you. I find it really interesting :)

Reply

jessicaturner April 20, 2011 at 8:55 am

Flying restrictions here are for 34 weeks.

Reply

Linny Best April 18, 2011 at 10:06 am

By the way, love the new haircut!

I TOTALLY understand! I’m due this Saturday and have for the past few months gotten stares and questions and shock from people. The worst is when I am walking through a crowd of people and someone looks down and says “woah!” or “ah!” or “poor thing!” Yes. I’m pregnant, I’m not the first person to be in this state; and the belly is big. Now let’s move on to “How about the weather?!”

I’ll be flying for the first time since last year when Lucy is a few weeks old, and I’m sure we’ll get stares with a 2 year old in tow as well, but I look forward to showing her off!!

Reply

Elizabeth April 18, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I am just going to say that you look great and to ignore it all. Okay, ignoring is so very hard but all you need to hear is that you look great, just right for someone having a baby.

Reply

Brooke April 18, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I think it’s so easy for people to forget what pregnancy is really like. Let’s face it if we didn’t forget half of it we might never have a second!

I would want to grab the microphone too! Hopefully the stares aren’t as bad when you are on the ground. And even though you are getting the stares, don’t forget that at the end of all this you get a gorgeous little girl forever.

Reply

Rachel April 18, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Wow, I think you look great! I’m pregnant too, and I am only 5’2″, so needless to say, I look huge! I am 22 weeks along, and I am so ready to be done! This is my third and (hopefully) final pregnancy, so I am just trying to be thankful for this little blessing and enjoy the journey. It does bother me when people say, “Wow, you are SO BIG!!!” Seriously??? I guess people just don’t realize how hurtful they are being when they make those careless remarks. Don’t worry, you look amazing and you are going to have a beautiful little daughter in just a few short weeks!

Reply

Cara April 18, 2011 at 6:00 pm

That’s awful! I was only told once “You look so big!” to my face but almost 3 years later I still remember it – not cool, people, not cool.
We live in the Bay Area! We had gorgeous weather until yesterday when the fog rolled in – and there was a little earthquake today too – wish it was nicer for you:)

Reply

Candace April 18, 2011 at 7:30 pm

you post pictures every week and you do NOT look huge!! My word!! People just aren’t thinking before they speak!! I think you are beautiful…love your hair, too!!

Reply

Stephanie April 18, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Aw… Take heart, Jessica. My best friend went through the same thing. She has a 5’1″ frame and put on about 50lbs with each of her babies. People can be so insensitive. Glad that you’re done with travel, and for the record, I think you make a Beautiful pregnant lady!

Reply

Shana Harder April 18, 2011 at 11:31 pm

You are beautiful!!! Enjoy (as much as you can) these last months of sweet baby kicks. :)

Reply

Tena April 19, 2011 at 7:27 am

Some people are just inconsiderate butts. When I was pregnant at 5’3 and as round as a planet, I had a problem with people touching my belly–WITHOUT the courtesy of asking. It happened a lot! I lived in El Paso at the time and don’t know if it is a cultural thing, but it was pretty weird and sometimes really creepy.

Reply

jessicaturner April 20, 2011 at 8:54 am

I hate that! :)

Reply

Ann Voskamp April 19, 2011 at 4:00 pm

You are so beautiful, Jessica… so.

Reply

jessicaturner April 20, 2011 at 8:53 am

I love you, friend. xo

Reply

Darcy April 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm

I can so relate to this post! Although my babies are now 7 and 4…it seems like yesterday:)
I am 4’11” and both my kiddos were right around the 8 lb mark. I had major lower back pain and gestational diabetes with both of them. My son (#2) had a major birth defect (congenital diaphragmatic hernia) that prevented him from properly processing the amniotic fluid, so on top of his weight/size, I had excess amniotic fluid. At 30 weeks I was measuring 40 weeks at my check-ups. It felt like I was walking through mud every time I tried to move…
When out Christmas shopping in early December I had someone ask me “are we expecting an early Christmas present?!?!”
NO!!! He’s due in March!
Woops:)
After #2, I got my tubes tied because I had no desire to go through pregnancy again.
It is such a miracle and I am so glad I had my babes, it was so worth every minute of it…but pregnancy didn’t agree with me either:)
Thanks for your honesty:)
darcy

Reply

Dina April 19, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Just thought you should know you look absolutely gorgeous in this photo! And your hair…I want mine to do that! :)

from a stranger new to your blog…

Reply

Cynthia Stuckey April 21, 2011 at 8:59 am

I had two people ask me when the baby was due… when I came back to work. HA!

But seriously, you look great and thanks for sharing a photo!

Reply

Cynthia Stuckey April 21, 2011 at 9:00 am

I had two people ask me when the baby was due… when I came back to work. HA!

But seriously, you look great and thanks for sharing a photo!

Reply

Rick April 22, 2011 at 10:17 am

Princess. Don’t take any of it personal. Now that is easy for me to say but I am a man and I have said many dumb things over the 30 years married to your mother. Many of us just blabber at the mouth when the thought comes in our mind. None of them are bad thoughts they just sometimes sound bad when they come out!!!! Heck blame it Matthew he’s the one that got you pregnant!!!!! :)
love you
DAD

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: