Sweet Audrey Girl

by jessicaturner on January 10, 2009

This past week was the anniversary of the day our friends Angie and Todd found out their daughter had a condition that would make her incompatible with life.

I’ll never forget that day.

I’ll never forget the day she called me to tell me she was expecting.

I’ll never forget the day I called her, two months later, that I was pregnant too.

We did a lot of celebrating in the days leading up to January 7, 2008. You can imagine two best friends, pregnant at the same time, planning about the future and how their babies would grow up to be best friends, get married (if one of us had a boy), etc. That all changed pretty dramatically.

In the past year, I have watched my best friend change. I have changed too. We walked through some of the toughest months of our lives together. We cried together. We prayed together. We prayed apart. And though God chose to not let Audrey stay here with us, the story of Audrey lives on. The story of the Smith family lives on.

Angie put together a tribute video that I want to share with you here (if you haven’t already seen it on her blog). I watched it this morning as I rocked Elias back to sleep. And I cried. I’m crying now.

Crying because my best friend lost her daughter.
Crying because Elias and Audrey won’t grow up together like we planned.
Crying because it has been a really hard year.
Crying because in the midst of it all, God has been faithful – though I have had moments where I couldn’t see that.
Crying because I look at Audrey’s picture every day and it makes me sad.
Crying because I remember holding Audrey’s tiny body against my very pregnant belly.
Crying because I have Elias and Angie doesn’t have Audrey and that doesn’t seem fair.
Crying because sometimes I just need to cry.

Please take 10 minutes and watch this beautiful video. I know how hard Angie worked on it.

Sweet Audrey-Girl from angie smith on Vimeo.

Thank you to those of you who have walked through this story with us. You have been an example of God’s faithfulness. I never could have imagined the community that would come together through Audrey’s story. I love you all.



{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Angie Smith January 10, 2009 at 1:21 pm

the Lord decided to wake me up at 7 am to have some quiet time (which doesn’t exactly explain why I am on your blog…:)), but i want to say thank you for your words, your support, and your unwavering love for me and my family in the past year(s). you are so precious to me, friend, and i love you more than you could know.

xoxo,
angie

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Kelli January 10, 2009 at 1:27 pm

wow… what a picture of the Lord sustaining Angie…She looked amazingly stong, I know on the inside she must have been shattered. Thanks for sharing your honesty and your tears with your friend and then on hear for all of us to see the picture of God’s grace b/t two dear friends.

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Jenna January 10, 2009 at 1:54 pm

I just finished watching Angie’s video she put together of Sweet Audrey. I cried and I have never met the Si\mith family but I feel like I’ve been a part of their lives! Thank you for being such a great friend to Angie.

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Rebecca January 10, 2009 at 2:01 pm

thank you for sharing that. I actually found your blog on hers back in May. thank you for sharing both of your hearts with us.

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Julia January 10, 2009 at 2:14 pm

wow… what a strong family to have to go through something like that. the video was beautiful… i cried. thank you for sharing. they will be in our prayers.

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Therese January 10, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Jessica-One of my friends found Angie’s blog months ago, it was only later that I found your connection to her. SHe really is an inspiring woman! My heart breaks when I think about what happened to Audrey and the family, but what a beautiful tribute she has put together. I will continur to pray for all of you as you heal!

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Rachel Boldman January 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

I watched the video while Zeke played in his exersaucer. As soon as he heard the music (ironically I listened to all of those songs while I was waiting to be admitted to the hospital to give birth to him) he stopped and smiled and stayed still just to listen. Of course, I cried and then just held him. What a touching story and amazing video.

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Open your Eyes. January 10, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Crying crying crying! Beautiful words! X.

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Bibi January 10, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Thanks for sharing – I’ve just watched the video and am now reading Angie’s blog. The music and the words are all beautiful, but none more so than seeing God’s love shining through. I have been struggling with my own quiet time lately – thank you for the little prod this has given me not to take Him for granted.

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Deb January 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Beautiful! Lives will be changed because of this tender life.

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Angela W January 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this on your blog. I have gone to her blog and added her link on my site. When time permits I am going to go through and read her blog posts.

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Rachel E. January 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm

This is an amazing video. Angie is so blessed to have you as a friend…your unwavering faith in the Lord throughout this time (and Angie’s, too, of course) has been so inspirational for me. Thank you for continuing to share this journey with all of us!

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Danielle January 10, 2009 at 7:00 pm

There are no words…what a beautiful life!! Thousands of lives will be changed becuase of Sweet Audrey Girl!

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Kelley January 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm

This video is so special. Thank you for sharing it with us. I have been following Angie’s blog and your blog for awhile. You two have a beautiful friendship.

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vaneblu January 10, 2009 at 7:34 pm

I saw it on Angie’s Blog and still now it makes me cry… this video! there are no words to describe it!

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gitz January 10, 2009 at 7:37 pm

I just love your heart. I’m so grateful you and Angie have each other and so many others who overflow with love and support.

Mostly I just love your heart.

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Cynthia B. January 10, 2009 at 8:14 pm

My heart just aches. Angie – you did a beautiful job w/ this video. You have a beautiful family, and Audrey will always be a part of that.

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Eva Foster January 10, 2009 at 8:22 pm

I watched this last night on Angie’s blog. I cried my eyes out. I will never understand why our little ones are taken from us. It shouldn’t have to be that way. Especially for a woman like Angie. I follow both of your blogs, yep I’m addicted and my husband thinks I’m crazy. You both are helping me find my faith again.

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Jessica January 10, 2009 at 9:36 pm

I tried not to cry … but I bawled. I cannot even imagine losing a child. When there was the pictures of the girls at Disney World and the empty hat …
I will pray for you all.
~Jessica

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Robin January 10, 2009 at 10:16 pm

What a beautiful friendship that you share…may God continue to strengthen that bond even more than he already has. I found your blog through Angie’s and wish that I could jump on a plane to Tennesee and meet you all in person! May God continue to bless you and your family!

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rhineharts January 11, 2009 at 12:27 am

I just happened upon your blog because of your 365 post and I immediately saw this…I can’t tell you how this struck me. You see my best friend and I just experienced the same thing in the last year. Our details are so very similiar and I had such a hard time on the anniversary of her losing her sweet Lexi. I’d love to chat with you more, rhinehartangie@yahoo.com. It was such a beautiful tribute.

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Brenda Craig January 11, 2009 at 2:40 am

A simple and beautiful picture of faith in the midst of suffering…I am touched beyond words….amazing grace how sweet the sound…thank you for sharing this…Brenda

Found you through twitter…I believe it was on pchase

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Jodi January 11, 2009 at 2:42 am

Wow. Audrey’s story has touched me from before she was even born. But then to see this video of this sweet angel…I am speechless. I cried so hard, and shared the video with my husband. The picture that really got me for some reason is the one of the girls in Disney wearing their Mickey ears, and dear sweet Audrey’s Mickey ears sitting on the pavement beside them. What a beautiful angel. I’m happy to know that Angie had and continues to have you in her life.

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Katie January 11, 2009 at 3:12 am

Tears falling. What a beautiful tribute to sweet baby Audrey. I started following Angie’s blog this summer, and actually found yours through hers. Thank you to both of you for sharing such a profound story of friendship, love, and God’s grace.

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Jill January 11, 2009 at 3:20 am

Jess – what a beautiful post and example of friendship that has nothing to do with this world – but has everything to do with eternal things!

We (me) have been so blessed to be allowed a window into the lives of this precious family and given the priviledge to pray alongside of them. I know I have been changed because of it and I may never meet them this side of heaven. I can only imagine how much it has changed your vision and heart about God. Praising Him for your love and how much it has encouraged Angie for the past year. You are a blessing to many!

Thanks for sharing another piece of your life with us!
Jill

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grace January 11, 2009 at 4:07 am

i watched that video and shared it with my friend. and wept through it. thank you both for your lovely writings and your even more beautiful testimony to the faithfulness of God. audrey’s story is one i share often, because i love what it means: that the God of the universe is still the God over a the short life of a tiny baby girl who changed the lives of many many people.

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Claire January 11, 2009 at 6:32 pm

I’ve just watched that video for the second time… the faith and beauty of it is so incredibly moving.

Blessings to you all.

Cxx

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Jackie January 11, 2009 at 6:58 pm

I watched Angie’s video from her blog the first day she put it up.

You are a cherised friend to her.
What a treasure.

God’s blessings to all of you.

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Nancy January 11, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Just amazing! What a hard time that must have been. But now that she is w/ God they have an angel watching over them! Thanks for sharing

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Rebecca (Sam's wife) January 11, 2009 at 9:00 pm

what a neat video and i had to fight beack the tears at the end. i actually found your blog through hers too and was hooked when i saw you were a scapper too. such a neat friendship you two have!

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Kristi O January 12, 2009 at 6:15 am

you can tell that your hearts are knit together. I see such love and kindness from the Father. Isn’t it nice of Him to know who we need in the good and the awful times. The Smith story really draws me to intercede and draw near to the Father. Thanks for sharing it here

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Jess January 12, 2009 at 5:42 pm

I just watched the video on Angie’s blog. It made me cry for Audrey, Angie and her family.

I popped over here and now I’m crying again. I can relate to your side of this story as my best friend and I were pregnant at the same time. Due only weeks apart. It was the first child for the both of us. We planned, like you did. I had a healthy baby. A few short weeks later, she lost her baby. I remember feeling guilty because I had a baby to love and hold and she didn’t.

That was over 15 years ago and the day her baby was born is one I will never forgot and the one day I year we are gauranteed to talk.

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Brooke January 12, 2009 at 9:59 pm

What an amazingly beautiful video. Despite Angie’s enormous loss I hope she can take some relief in the memories of spending that time with her daughter and knowing she stayed so strong to allow that time to be so loving and peaceful.

In March 2004 I said hello and goodbye to my little nephew and I’m still incredibly grateful for the short time we shared together.

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Tasha January 13, 2009 at 1:03 am

Hi Jessica.There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head that I don’t know where to begin.I,like so many have read Angie’s blog from the begining.I immediately felt such a connection to her because I too was pregnant,due to have my baby the same week Audrey was due.I remember how much I thought of Angie and Audrey the morning my Avery Grace was born.I too had a c-section and I remember lying on the operation table in that freezing cold room waiting for the doctor to begin.I was trying to imagine what Angie had gone through that day sweet Audrey came into this world.I was trying to imagine what it would be like to know that unless God chose to perform a miracle the baby that I was about to meet would be a baby I would have to say goodbye to all too soon.As I layed there I just started to sob.Of coarse this alarmed the nurses.They wanted to know what was wrong so there in the operating room as my daughter came into this world,I was able to share Audrey’s story.Avery’s middle name,Grace,is in honor of Audrey.When she is old enough to understand,I will share Audrey’s story with her.Watching the video was really hard.I don’t remember ever crying like that in my life.This was also a hard day because Avery was born on May 27th the very same day that Luke went to be with Jesus.To say that this family is special to me is an understatement.I love them all so much.I had the joy of meeting Angie back in October and it truely was one of the greatest moments of my life.I am so glad that she has you in her life.You are a beautiful person inside and out and I would love to meet you someday as well.Take care.Love~Tasha in Indiana~

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octolilly January 13, 2009 at 3:05 am

Thank you for sharing this story with us. I was in tears. Only God could grant strength to all of the broken hearts in this story.

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megan January 13, 2009 at 6:19 pm

I am sitting here at my desk on my lunch hour crying my eyes out. Your friend is so strong and brave, her girls are very blessed to have a mother like her. I have a daughter Audrey as well and will be giving her an extra hug tonight. Thanks for sharing.

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amanda January 14, 2009 at 4:31 am

i watched that video TWICE. i bawled…TWICE. i am not going to watch it now…because…well i don’t want to bawl..AGAIN. :0) but i wanted tosay that you are truly what angie probably needed during this past year. what a blessing to her. :0)

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Brenda is SO Blessed January 14, 2009 at 4:36 pm

I just stumbled onto your blog and found we live about 200 miles apart. Thank you so much for your posting Angie’s video. our Pastor and his wife lost a son many years ago—I still think of Michael as he was 3 yrs younger than my daughter. Thank you so much

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Vern ~ Inspired January 14, 2009 at 5:17 pm

I read Angies blog and have been affected and inspired by this families journey and little Audreys life story.

Your friendship together is powerful…That is the way it should be…Thank you for shining that example!

Hugs,
Vern

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Kelly January 15, 2009 at 7:49 pm

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and touching video. This is something the Smith family will always cherish.

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Anonymous January 15, 2009 at 10:16 pm

A beautiful video…the videos of the girls with Audrey are so precious! Thank you for sharing the video, so beautiful!

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Donahue Family January 20, 2009 at 4:18 am

I am crying my eyes out! Your friend looks so strong in the video. The Lord truly had his hand in that situation. Praise God! This makes me even more grateful for my 2 healthy daughters!

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