Elias and I have been up since 3:45. We went to bed at 12:45. Mommy is tired. Elias should be tired, but his heavy eyelids won’t stay closed.
The past few days have been trying. You see, after I pumped that bottle that Matthew fed Elias (see post below), I became extremely engorged, resulting in a lot of tears, pain and frustration (hope this isn’t TMI). Thursday was the worst – I cried a lot. Friday was a little better, though I still sat and cried by evening. My hope is that today will be even better – and that relief is around the corner. Yes, I have done it all. Hot compresses, hot showers, ice, feeding every two hours, pumping (without much success because of the engorgement), etc. I have spoke with several lactation consultants and they say I am doing everything right, so I am just trying to be patient. Elias is thankfully getting plenty of milk – I just seem to have a lot more than what is needed. However, he has been fussy as it has been more difficult for him to latch, and he is such a good baby that his crying has made me more emotional.
You should know that I am NOT a crier. It has been a joke in my family for years. However, motherhood and increased post-partum hormones have seemed to change all of this. I look at my son and am overwhelmed by how adorable he is, that Matthew and I made him, and that God has trusted the two of us to raise him. I know we won’t be perfect parents, but that we will love Elias passionately. My whole life my parents, especially my mom, used to say, someday, when you are a parent, you will understand. And they were right. I get it. You love your kids in a way that those without kids can only kind of understand. It is a different kind of a love. It is deeper, richer and more profound than any other love I have known. It’s pretty cool.
Today Matthew and I hope to do another video blog and I want to go to an upscale baby shop that is closing here in Nashville (Gingham). It will be good to get out of the house, even if it is just for an hour. I also got 150 pictures printed from Elias’s first week, so I am really hoping to get to make at least one scrapbook layout. (FYI – Walgreens.com is having a sale – order 50 or more prints for just 10 cents a piece. The coupon code is FUN and the sale ends today.)
Well, my foot bouncing the bouncer seems to have done the trick… I think I am going to try to get some sleep out on the couch, rather than taking Elias out of the bouncer. Sorry this post was a bit all over the place! Good night, friends.