Saturday night I spent a few hours at Angie’s. For those of you who have not read one of my other posts about her, Angie is one of my closest friends in Nashville. Like me, she is pregnant (32 weeks), with a little girl named Audrey Caroline. Audrey has several health issues that make her “incompatible with life.” She is going to be born via c-section on Monday afternoon and is not expected to live.
Angie and I got together so I could help her prepare some things. I have a knack for being organized (with everything except my house, it seems), and so offered to make a couple lists of things I could do to help Ang and her family, both in the immediate days to come, as well as in the weeks ahead.
We made a list of things I should blog about on Bring the Rain during this next week. (As Angie wants readers to know what is happening during the week, but may not have the energy/strength to do so.) Details about the delivery, a memorial service, etc. These are things you don’t ever think about talking about with your best friend – especially not in the same breath, while you both feel the kicks of your unborn children.
We read through emails from just a handful of the kind individuals who have reached out.
We got distracted by their new puppy Sawyer and some of the maternity shoot proofs the Smith family had taken on Friday.
We talked about how there’s just so much you can plan because in the end, we don’t want to plan any of it, in hopes of a miracle. It’s almost as if I pre-write the blog post about where to send cards and where the memorial will be, that hope is lost. And it is not. We want God to do what he is capable of – heal Audrey. We want her to be born and be able to take in a breath, to wrap her tiny hand around her mommmy’s finger… Not only do we want that for the Smiths, but to be able to say look! God healed her., just as is done countless times in the bible.
It is 2 am. I woke up about 40 minutes ago, dreaming of Monday, Angie, Audrey… I also woke up in extreme pain in my lower back. I got up to move to the living room couch and Matthew warmed a heat pack for me. But, I am wide awake and felt compelled to write. I ask that you pray for Audrey and the Smiths. We know what the doctors have said, but refuse to give up hope. God may work a miracle in healing Audrey. But He may have other plans… but we will give Him glory either way.
I read through Philippians tonight, and the below passage (Phil 4:4-9) moved me. May we be in prayer and petition these next days, and overwhelmed by the peace of God.
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.