If Pregnancy Were a Shoebox Greeting Card

by jessicaturner on July 24, 2014

Disclosure: This post is the fifth in a six-month series sponsored by Hallmark. All thoughts are my own.

Are you familiar with Hallmark’s hilarious Shoebox card line? They are my favorite, especially for birthdays. I stopped in Hallmark last night and couldn’t believe all the fun Shoebox cards they had.

shoebox cards
However, one topic was missing. Pregnancy.

Seriously, I think Hallmark needs to come out with some REALLY honest Shoebox greeting cards about pregnancy.

Because, y’all, people are not honest enough about pregnancy, and a humorous perspective is definitely needed.

Here are a few topics I think they could cover: 

Card #1: You will pee when you laugh, sneeze, cough, even puke

I knew I wanted a natural birth for Elias, but I didn’t realize what that would physically do my muscles. Laughing, sneezing or coughing hard all result in incontinence now, if I am not careful.

And with the morning sicknesses of babies #2 and #3, adding puking to the list. Yep, if I don’t go to the bathroom before throwing up, I would likely pee myself. And sometimes I still do even with that precaution.

And I know I am not the only one because when I mentioned this to a friend who is also pregnant, she said, girl, I just put a towel between my legs when I puke.

Card #2: Your breasts will hurt so much you will not be able to hug anyone for months

Pregnancy websites talk about “breast tenderness” but that doesn’t go far enough. I am amazed by how much they hurt. Adeline wants to lay on my chest all the time and I yelp in pain!

Card #3: You are going to need new underwear

Again, this should be a duh, but I didn’t expect it the first time around. I knew I would gain weight, but didn’t think about my butt. With this pregnancy, I just went ahead and bought a pack of underwear a size up from where I was, knowing that I was going to be packing some more junk in my trunk.

Card #4: Strangers will want to touch your belly – a lot.

This is such a strange phenomenon. Why do strangers come up to you and think it is okay to touch your belly when you are pregnant?

Card #5: People will ask inappropriate questions.

Get ready for inappropriate questions like, are you having twins? How much weight have you gained? Did you plan this? People have no boundaries when talking to pregnancy people!

15Weeks
Pregnancy is a such a crazy experience (although moments like Adeline hugging my belly (“the baby”) make it more bearable) and I think Shoebox needs to take it on!

Did any of these experiences resonate with you? If you were going to suggest a topic for a Shoebox pregnancy card, what would it say?

{ 12 comments }



Hot Deal: Free Kiwi Crate Sampler

by jessicaturner on July 22, 2014

I was SOOOO excited when I received this email about this freebie to share with y’all (affiliate links included).

Kiwi Crate is offering a free trial for new subscribers! Just pay $3.95 shipping and handling to get a sample kit (one project) for your child to enjoy.

The sample kit includes the Starlight Lantern, which is a perfect example of the types of adorable crafts you get each month from Kiwi Crate.
Screen Shot 2014-07-22 at 6.04.41 AMHere’s the description:

Create your very own lantern for a fun camping adventure under the stars! Learn about all the glowing animals that can light up the dark in our explore! magazine filled with bonus projects and activities!

Your crate will include:

  • All the materials to build your starlight lantern
  • Full set of colored vellum sheets and glow-in-the-dark star stickers to personalize your project
  • Kid-friendly star hole punch
  • Tea light included to help illuminate the night
  • 16 page explore! magazine filled with puzzles, DIY activities and a bonus firefly project (Elias loves this magazine every month)

Elias made this last year and was SO proud of it.
Free Kiwi Crate SampleHonestly, I can’t put into words how much our family loves Kiwi Crate. Elias looks forward to that green box arriving every single month, and Adeline has been super interested these past few months as well (I think I am going to add a sibling add-on to our subscription so there’s no fighting over craft supplies!).

Kiwi Crate is geared toward children ages 3-8. We have subscribed to it for more than two years and have no intention of canceling any time soon because it’s just that awesome.

This Kiwi Crate trial is an excellent opportunity to try them out and you can’t beat the price!

Also, if you are a grandparent, aunt or friend, consider ordering the free Kiwi Crate sample kit for a child in your life. They’ll love getting it in the mail.

This offer is only available through July 31, so take advantage of it right away.

Note: Your free trial project will ship within two business days. You will have 14 days after your trial project ships to cancel your Kiwi Crate subscription, if you wish. If you choose to not cancel, you will be charged $19.95/month and receive 2-3 new projects per month with your Kiwi Crate monthly subscription. You may cancel at any time. Offer only available to U.S. residents.

{ 4 comments }



A Few Great Reads for Your Summer

July 21, 2014

After several months of very little reading (thanks to awful morning sickness and that bone-tired pregnancy exhaustion) I am finally getting back in my grove. I’ve read a few FANTASTIC books that I happy to share with you. The Orphans of Race Point: I ADORED this book. RUN to Amazon or your local bookstore and […]

Read the full article →

Ivy Kids Education/Craft Kit for Kids

July 17, 2014

Today I’m delighted to share about Ivy Kids, a new education/craft subscription kit club for kids. Ivy Kids offered to send me a box to try out with Adeline and Elias. I made a quick video to share the contents of the kit because it is very different from other kids subscription boxes that I […]

Read the full article →

Delicious, Easy BBQ Review + Awesome Giveaway

July 15, 2014

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Byron’s BBQ. Every summer we attend a huge 4th of July party on July 3rd at our friends Pete and Brandi’s farm. More than 100 people gather on the property that is as quintessential American as it comes. Think vintage decor, an old […]

Read the full article →

Assigning Chores for Young Kids

July 14, 2014

Disclosure: This is the first of two sponsored posts with Haier , who provided our family with a new dishwasher. One thing that we haven’t been great at establishing  with our kids are chores. They do daily tasks like taking dirty dishes to the kitchen and picking up their toys (with prodding), but don’t have […]

Read the full article →

A Quick Pregnancy Update: 13 Weeks

July 11, 2014

Well, I’m officially in the second trimester… I’ll be 14 weeks on Monday. (My shirt is non-maternity from thredUP.) Due Date: January 12, 2015 (they moved my due date back one week, though I am still hoping for an early January arrival!) Baby size: 3″ – a peapod Sickness: Unfortunately, I am still throwing up […]

Read the full article →

Summer Swimming Memories – Will You Share?

July 10, 2014

At the pool with my family Every day since writing the post Put on That Swimsuit, I have received comments, tweets, Instagram tags and emails from moms who did it. They put on their swimsuits and made memories with their families. It’s been such a joy to read every note and see every picture, like […]

Read the full article →

Massive Card Sale – Save More Than 80%

July 8, 2014

This weekend I wrote a bunch of cards. It has been too-long since I intentionally sat down to write some hand-written notes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – writing cards is such an easy way to bless people. DaySpring is having a MASSIVE card sale right. If you need to stock […]

Read the full article →

Free Maven Box from Julep

July 3, 2014

I am always looking for new products to try and I think I discovered one that many of you will like – bonus, you can get it for free! Have you heard of Julep Maven boxes? Each month you get brand new beauty products delivered right to your door (and yes, that’s a referral link!). […]

Read the full article →